Who Would Have Thunk?

The following list, 25 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Me, is meant to be read, but not necessarily remembered. Enjoy!

1a. I intentionally ran over my sister with my snowmobile when I was 6 years old. She was 8.

1b. Then, 6 years later, she intentionally stomped on the back of my head, smashing my face into the sidewalk, crystallizing my two front teeth.

2a. I enjoy shopping. When I go to the mall, I always use the same entrance, regardless of my destination.

2b. One of my favorite things to do at Christmas time is to take the whole family to the mall on Black Friday - the busiest shopping day of the year.

3a. As a very young boy, I was fascinated with suits. I can remember going to JC Penny's and just standing, staring at the boy mannequins...wishing I could have a suit.

3b. My first suit was Marine Corps Dress Blues.

4a. I can't sing. I can't even hold a tune. And I can't read music.

4b. But if I did, I secretly wish I could perform the National Anthem.

5a. I can't pee in front of other people. And I can't stand the guy that comes and stands next to me in a public bathroom...because I get stage fright, and won't pee until he leaves.

5b. ...except with my son. When we pee together, we pretend our streams are light sabers.

6a. In high School, I held my breath in History class to see how red I could turn my face...and passed out.

6b. I passed out again in the Marine Corps while standing in an honor guard detail during a huge Memorial Day ceremony in Seattle, Washington.

6c. Oh, and almost a third time while watching Tracy get an epidural.

7a. I taught myself to drive a stick shift. When no one was home, I took my brother's car to the school parking lot and practiced for about 10 minutes. Then, took off to visit some friends. I didn't have a driver's license or a permit.

7b. A couple of hours later, I got pulled over by the police for not having my headlights on (and for stalling in the middle of a major intersection), ticketed for driving without a license and giving false information orally, then was given a ride back home...to my driveway...by a cop!

8a. Walking into a Jr. High School dance was the climax of my adolescent anxiety.

8b. I cried when Erika Webb turned me down on the dance floor.

9a. The absolute most refreshing part of each day is laying my head on the pillow for 10 seconds before falling asleep (literally...10 seconds and I'm out - 30 seconds max!)

9b. I've slept through countless alarm clocks, wailing infants at the foot of my bed, security alarms, punches to the ribs, permanent marker, being pulled off the top bunk (and dropped), and a Marine Corps Drill Instuctor. Once, while on a patrol, my Corpsman placed smelling salts on my upper lip...no dice!

10a. I've soloed an airplane, climbed the tallest mountain in the U.S., rode the rollercoaster on top of the Stratosphere in Las Vegas, and soared in a hot air balloon.

10b. But I still tremble near the top of a ladder, and cannot bring myself to ride a ferris wheel.

11a. As a teenager, I would often sneak out of the house late at night (on my bike).

11b. One night, I was pretending to be superman with a blanket as my cape. But while going around a corner, the blanket entangled itself in my spokes, thus catapulting me over my handlebars.

12a. I am a big fan of the theater arts. Tracy and I have seen Miss Saigon...5 times (and we'd see it again)!

12b. I can recite the lyrics better than the lines from Top Gun (I'm slightly ashamed).

13a. I was suspended from High School for throwing an egg at Mr. Wilson's classroom window.

13b. I stole the egg from Home Economics, but it wasn't me that threw it.

14a. Jason Bach became my best friend in the Marines. We were stationed together our entire 4-year enlistment and keep in touch to this day.

14b. The biggest fist-fight I ever got in, was splitting Jason's lip, busting his nose, and kicking him in the ribs while he was down.

15a. I love Super Bowl parties!

15b. But I rarely know who's playing. I would much prefer to cheer for the commercials than the game.

16a. I failed U.S. History - twice.

16b. Today, a History teacher is one of my top 5 dream jobs.

16c. The other 4 are: Police Officer, Fighter Pilot, Marine Drill Instructor, Motivational Speaker

17a. I don't like exotic or spicy foods, especially Thai. Del Taco mild sauce makes me sweat.

17b. My 14 year old daughter, Taylor, eats jalapenos, Del Scorcho hot sauce, and loves anything hot - she thinks I'm a whimp!

18a. I consider myself a macho guy.

18b. But my favorite Olympic sports to watch are gymnastics and ice skating, I don't own a tool box, I out talk Tracy on the phone hands down, and our biggest arguements have been over interior design.

19a. When I was deployed overseas, Tracy was 4 months pregnant. We didn't communicate for 56 days prior to the birth of our first child (no e-mail, no cell phones).

19b. Ironically, I called Tracy the next day (from a rented phone, on the flight deck of an aircraft carrier, off the coast of Thailand). There were 17 friends and family members in her hospital room.

20a. I will never forget wresting with Brian Castro, during my sophomore year of high school.

20b. He broke my leg.

21a. Years ago, as an outspoken fan of Guns 'N Roses, Motley Crue, and Metallica, I despised country music...hated it, hated it, and made fun of it.

21b. Now, my Appetite For Destruction CD is covered in dust and buried under Toby Keith, Brad Paisley, and Tim McGraw.

22a. One of my favorite childhood games was the ever-popular "Hide-and-go-seek".

22b. Just recently I realized it's not called "Hiding-ghost-see".

23a. My all-time favorite job was working at Lamppost Pizza.

23b. Not one of the good stories can be repeated again...ever!

24a. I refuse to regret the things that I've done, or failed to do, in my past.

24b. But my behavior was sometimes shameful, and I truly regret the way I treated certain people.

25a. I am the luckiest man to have been able to marry my childhood friend and high school sweetheart.

25b. We hope to live happily ever after.
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Semper Fi,
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Chip Schultz
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